The Saint

Story by Anna Benstead, Culture Editor

Wednesday before Fall Break, the Moose housed a National Coming Out Day panel. The panelists consisted of  Delany Lemke (she/her) the Writer and Editor for Marketing and Communication, Alyssa Hoff (she/her) the Creative Dining Services Retail Supervisor, Ximón Kittok (they/them) the Grand Rapids Trans Foundation Executive Director Cal McNally (they/he) AQ Pride treasurer and Justin Davis (he/him) VIBE president. Drew Huelgi gave a very moving opening statement affirming that coming out is a difficult thing, and appreciating that not everyone has a space to do it yet. 

Megan Schnipke was the moderator for the panel and she asked questions ranging from the panelists’ experiences of coming out, to how to be a good ally. 

The Writing Center also participated in National Coming Out Day  

Delany came out for the first time when she was 13 to a group of friends. At 16 she was able to come out to her parents. The conversation with her mother was not what she had hoped. The interaction with her mother is a testament to what Drew said during the opening. Alyssa Hoff had a very similar story when she, at a young age, came out to her sister and was also met with unwelcoming commentary. As an Aquinas community, I know that we are grateful to have staff members who can share their difficult stories for the betterment, education, and reassurance of us all. We are so proud and grateful they were both able to push past those barriers and find accepting communities. Alyssa and Delany both live very successful lives with their partners. Alyssa with her wife (present at the event) and Delany with her faincé. 

Ximón did not come out until much later in life. They were about 20 and leaving college when they “were finally honest with themselves.” They told the story of growing up in a very conservative Christian Reformed Church community and graduating from Calvin College. They described coming out for the first time as “a breath of fresh air” and “feeling relieved that they didn’t have to wear a costume for the first time.” Justin’s coming-out story has a little more humor to it. He recalls everyone else knowing even before he did. Cal discussed coming out in a much quieter fashion, just a little bit at a time, to communities that he knew would accept him. And even that presented its challenges. “Don’t get me wrong” he says “I love my dad, but sometimes… he gets it wrong.” Cal said, referencing a story where their dad confused them by making a statement saying he would always love his son, but that he should not “dress like a boy.” Cal questioned this by saying “I was confused. How could my dad love me, but not every part of me?” 

Unfortunately, this is a question that many members of the queer community ask themselves every day. It is hard enough to navigate the modern world as it is, and it only becomes harder when there are parts of the world that are not safe for you to exist in. 

Fortunately, the panelists gave wonderful advice on how to be better allies in this world to make safer spaces. First and foremost, “put in the effort,” says Alyssa. “Know what news headlines affect us and do the research about what it means to live the way we do.” If allies can better understand the social context of what it means to thrive in the modern world they will be better support systems for the LGBTQ+ community. 

Featured Image: Left to Right: Delany Lemke (she/her), Alyssa Hoff (she/her), Ximón Kittok (they/them), Cal McNally (he/them), Justin Davis (he/him)

Photos Courtesy of the editor